Wednesday, 30 April 2014

5 ways I know I'm reading a bloody* good book

Working out the difference between an 'I-don't-regret-the-time-I-spent-reading-that' type of book and an 'oh-my-gosh-wow-I'm-going-to-treasure-that-forever' type can be difficult. Or, more accurately, books that fall closer to the latter's end of the spectrum - and which therefore could be classified as bloody good - can be tricky to confidently ascertain. For, how can you be really sure that a book deserves such an esteemed reputation? 

After much research and consideration, I have compiled a foolproof checklist to use when determining whether a book truly belongs on the OMGWIGTTTF scale. I hope it'll be of as much assistance to you as it'll be for me. Here we go.

5. I'll want to hold it lots.
Just like some children take a beloved toy with them everywhere they go, I'll do the same with a bloody good book. It's partly because I'm trying to absorb the book's bloody goodness as much as possible. And partly because I want to show it off. It's more than that too, I just can't articulate it all in this small space. All I know is that if I can't be reading it, holding it is enough to keep me happy.

4. I'll become a little bit obsessed about it.
If you see me using a computer or spending lots of time on my iPhone while I'm reading a bloody good book, then you can be pretty certain I'm finding out whatever I can about it. I'll want to know when the book came out, what people thought of it, whether any films have been made about it, and what different cover designs exist for it. That's only the beginning. Sadly I don't have a particularly good ability to remember much of the facts I do learn, but I really enjoy them at the time.

3. I'll read during any spare minute I've got.
That's right. I'll read while I'm walking to walk. I'll read instead of watching a TV show I really enjoy. I'll even read in the shower (that's not true, but if it were possible I would). The only way to tear myself away from the bloody good book is during non-negotiable parts of my day, such as work or eating dinner. Otherwise my eyes are glued to the book.

2. I'll read past my bedtime.
Now I know what you're thinking: all avid readers will read past their bedtimes. Right? Wrong! There's nothing more I like than getting a good night's sleep; and often a book won't even keep me from achieving this. But if it's a bloody good book, I will most definitely read past my bed time. I'll even look forward to doing so, convincing myself that the grumps which will manifest themselves in me come morning-time will be highly worth it. Now that's a bloody good book.

1. I'll eat the book.
I won't. But if I could I probably would. That's how highly I admire a bloody good book. Isn't that what happens when people really really like something - they just want to devour it? Like that saying, 'it looks good enough to eat'? Well, with bloody good books, I feel like they're good enough to eat. And I would if I ate books. Which I don't. 

* I was hesitant to use the word 'bloody' initially - it can sound quite vulgar. However, after much thought and deliberation (you could even say too much thought and deliberation), and when used in the passionate, Australian sense that I wanted to use it in, it was actually the only word that properly captured the essence of what I'm describing. 

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